My State of Conflict

Cuba: My State of Conflict
Posted: 02/17/2015 10:30 am EST
Elinor Robin

Tomorrow I leave for six days in Cuba.

Some months ago, before the recent diplomatic adjustment, Cuba seemed to
be calling me. I've lived in South Florida for most of my adult life.
And, Cuba's culture and people have profoundly influenced Florida,
despite the country's shroud of secrecy and mystery.

Knowing I'd make the trip happen, I started gathering information and
sorting out my options. Ultimately, I decided to organize my own trip
and get other professional mediators to come with me. There are 16 of us
going tomorrow. We are traveling on a General Research License and much
of our time in Cuba will be focused on the conflict and conflict
management that drives mediators' work. But, I have already learned a
big lesson about Cuba and conflict. Since it's putting a damper on my
trip, it's fitting I share it with you before we leave.

Guess what? Not everyone thinks it's cool to go to Cuba.

In order to get my little band of mediators together I "advertised" the
trip on social media and sent an email blast to the professional
mediators who have attended my training programs. The feedback started
coming in. It was as if I had worn a swastika in a synagogue.

"Enjoy your trip to Cuba. And, while you're sipping your cold drink,
keep in mind that my father was imprisoned for years. Your dollars will
further support the tyrannical regime that has brought nothing but
misery to my family. Don't email me again about your damn trip."

Ultimately, I saw a pattern. There was one consistent theme -- we hate
the Castro brothers. But, the feedback fell into three categories. Many
of the writers won me over and raised sympathy.

"Elinor, About your trip to Cuba: As a disclaimer, I am not objective. I
was born in Miami in 1961. My parents were Cuban refugees. My father
fought against Castro's men in the Sierra Maestra Mountains and barely
escaped the firing squad. One of my uncles died at age 19 during the Bay
of Pigs invasion. Another uncle spent 18 yrs as a political prisoner. I
grew up hearing stories of the hardships and cruelties endured by my
people." Blessings, Nancy, V., MD

"Dear Elinor, As a psychotherapist working with the Hispanic community
for over twenty two years, I have been intimately exposed to the
suffering of the Cuban exile community. Just like you, I would love to
visit Cuba, and I hope to do so when Cubans have the same basic human
rights that we enjoy only 90 miles away. Yes, I will visit Cuba, but
only when it is deemed to be a free country. I feel that I owe It to the
patients that I have worked with for decades, many of whom died with the
hope to see a free Cuba, to inform anyone who plans to visit the island
while it is still under the grip of a communist regime, that they are in
an indirect manner supporting oppression. May you have a safe trip."
Liliana W

"Dear Elinor, I was deeply hurt by your "Visit Cuba with Me" email.
Relations with Cuba are misunderstood. As with other world atrocities,
the cruelty is under reported and ignored. Our president has painted the
current situation as an opportunity to open up negotiations with a third
world country. But he is ignoring the huge human rights violations that
are a daily occurrence. As you know, our media and our leaders refused
to investigate stories of the holocaust and the truth was not told until
it was all over and the human accounts could be heard. In Cuba, hundreds
of people are jailed every day for what are called crimes of thought.
The government uses the internet as a weapon to spy and persecute. The
real embargo is the one imposed by the Castro government. They and their
families live lavish lifestyles while the people don't have sufficient
food, water, electricity, or medical supplies. I'm sure you didn't know.
Thanks for listening." Alina G

The second category of reactions are what I call the reptile brain
responses. The writers of these emails were reacting with a fight-flight
response. My Cuba email triggered a survival response in them because
the Cuba trauma experience is still with them, frozen in their nervous
systems. These were not emails that invited dialogue. "This is
disgusting! Never email me again! You are insulting me and my family!"

Finally, others, clearly, wanted to educate me. An example of this came
from my colleague, Angel Castillo, Jr. He sent me a copy of an Op Ed
piece he wrote for the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel "Obama's Christmas
Gift to Fidel and Raul: A Win-Lose Deal" (12/18/14). As Angel sees it:

The break in formal relations between my two countries was rightfully
decreed on January 3, 1960 by President Eisenhower in response to Cuba's
tilt towards the Soviet Union and massive confiscations - thefts - of
American properties in violation of international law. Today, the
President's quest for finding his "place in history," has made Fidel
Castro's decades-old dream of triumphing over the US imperialists,
without giving up anything in return, a reality. If President Obama
wants "to promote more effective change" and "support for the Cuban
people" here are a few of the possible meaningful concessions he could
have demanded from Raul Castro in return for his unrequited largesse:

- Reparations to the surviving relatives of the four Brothers to the
Rescue humanitarian fliers, shot down over international waters by the
Cuban Air Force in 1996.
- An independent investigation into the mysterious death of Osvaldo
Paya, a leading dissident killed in a car crash in 2012.
- Granting freedom to the hundreds of political prisoners held in Cuban
prisons.
- Allowing periodic inspections of Cuban prisons by international observers.
- Putting an end to the harassment, persecution, and jailing of
political dissidents.
- Allowing the Cuban people freedom of assembly, freedom to organize
political parties, freedom to create religious and private schools,
freedom of the press, and freedom of speech.
- Granting the Cuban people access to ownership of independent
newspapers, radio, and TV stations.
- Allowing the Cuban people unrestricted internet access and access to
international radio and TV stations without signal jamming.
- Holding free democratic elections supervised by international observers.

According to Angel, what the Castro brothers really covet is not the end
of the American trade embargo, as they already buy American goods
through third countries. Instead, they want the bigger propaganda
victory and access to American and international loans in order to fund
their bankrupt dictatorship.

Oy. I have such mixed feelings about my trip tomorrow. On one hand, I am
looking forward to the music and the old cars. We will get a chance to
see the before picture - a country frozen in time before it begins the
thaw-out process that seems to be right around the corner. The timing of
our trip could not have been better. Even the President seemed to be
supporting us. On the other hand, I feel like a traitor. My
Cuban-American friends and colleagues feel so betrayed. I fear that
going to Cuba may be akin to flying a confederate flag or contributing
money to the KKK.

Source: Cuba: My State of Conflict | Elinor Robin, PhD -
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elinor-robin-phd/cuba-my-state-of-conflict_b_6648974.html